Mini!

Shortly after my last post (I know I know – way too long ago – I AM much more consistent with much else in my life – swiffering, cleaning my jewelry, rearranging my shoes – all of life’s important things), I got the best surprise ever. I’m talking BEST surprise – like Oprah screaming “You get a car! And you get a car! And YOU get a CAR!” And, if you’ve never seen that episode of Oprah, well, I’m more than happy to let you borrow my Oprah DVDs to let you enjoy that magical moment for yourself.

Similar to that momentous Oprah show, this surprise ranks right up there with someone telling you, oh I don’t know, you’re getting a Chanel handbag for free. I’ve never heard of that happening – even on Oprah. Do you get the level of pure ecstatic unspeakable JOY I’m talking about now? Like so exciting you can’t even STAND it?! Good. Now I can tell you the secret that’s not so secret anymore. This fashionista is having a baby! That’s right! A WHOLE OTHER TINY PRESON TO STYLE AND DRESS. With a WHOLE ROOM TO DESIGN. (Amongst other things, of course.) To top it off, this mini adorable wildchild human growing right now is a little BOY! A MiniMarshall, as I have taken to calling him. Will he be a mini-husband?! Probably. The good news is, he’s going to start his life off a lot better dressed.

So that is the best surprise ever that changed my life right when we were ringing in my new favorite year known as 2013. Here are a few fun tidbits of life with MiniMarshall thus far:

•      As you may or may not know, the husband is an emotional (but darling) wreck who has cried maybe more than his hormone-raged wife these last 5 months. He normally pairs his tears with a drink of choice – his friend Jamieson has helped him out a few times, and not 1 but 2 martinis were needed when we learned Mini was a BOY!
• ·     Hormones are kind of the best thing ever, because they get you out of everything. Tired? Hormones. Hungry? Hormones. Just feel like yelling at the husband? Hormones for sure! Can’t seem to make it from the couch to the kitchen to get your 9^th glass of fizzy water (which will never ever come close to replacing wine) and so you shed a tear or 2 to get “someone” to do it for you? Shoot, the hormones strike again!
• ·    I knew Mini was a boy. I am putting it in writing so maybe some day when his mother is rich and famous he will stumble across this lame blog and… I will feel validated that I was right! I knew it was a boy, so therefore I deserve a crown for already having that “motherly instinct” everyone keeps talking about. Crown aside (make sure it has diamonds and looks like Princess Kate’s), I really didn’t have the instinct, but I had this thing called an ultrasound. I’m not saying I SAW the boy parts. Any goofball could do that - I was the loser who couldn’t even see his feet. (Seriously, the kid has huge feet and I just pretended to see them until we left and I could figure it out myself. They were kicked back and resting – so obvious! What fetus wouldn’t be chilling out like that?) When we had an ultrasound early on, I knew this was a boy. Why? Because he was fist pumping! He had moves JUST like the husband’s. I don’t lie about Mini. He was in the womb, dancing around like a NUTCASE. And that’s when I knew.
• ·    I confirmed Mini was a boy several few weeks later, at the next ultrasound – again, I didn’t see the magical boy area, but this time, he was standing on his head the whole time. This further confirmed the craziness that is my future son. He was just the size of a bell paper, but he already had a much larger attitude.  The poor ultrasound technician was just trying to do her job, confirming he had normal baby stuff, like arms and legs. Of course, my child (in this case, the husband’s Mini for sure), had to be on his head. The entire time. Laying on his left arm.  Hiding it from us. Much to the tech’s dismay, we could not get o-stubborn-one to move around. This led me to believe for about 30 minutes that Mini did not have a left arm! This also led me to believe he was a boy, because no girl would be so uncooperative on a deadline. Finally, the tech finds the arm, hand, thumb and everything and she is so relieved (as am I – duh!). She proceeds with the appointment, and right when we are wrapping up, he starts WAVING his left hand around. I felt like he was saying, “Hey, freaks! Here’s my arm! Don’t know what you were looking for, bozos.”
• ·  Sure enough, an hour later, we were served a dessert covered in blueberries and my suspicions were confirmed… BOY. We were going to have a dancing, fistpumping, upside down, naughty, wild little boy! So, I gobbled down the dessert and like any good fashionista (oh and um parent) I went on a 3 day bender shopping spree.

I will share the tricks and trades of producing a fabulous and functional baby wardrobe in another entry, but here are some of my favorite pieces to wet your appetite. There are sure to be more, because I literally buy something 1-7 times per week. I’m not even going to get into how close my new office is to the best ever babies section at Nordstrom. Between that and the refrigerator and bathroom being just steps away, work is totally this mama-to-be’s paradise.

To say the least, Broke-O for Coco is getting broke-o from a whole new sector of shopping. Have you seen the strollers out there these days?! And did you know Burberry has baby line? Just sayin.

Signing off,

Broke-O and… MiniMarshall

'Tis the season!

Merry Christmas, fashionistas! As you wrap your prezzies and wow your friends and family with your cute sparkle outfits at holiday parties, I just had to say hello and happy holidays. Sequins, faux fur, big bows, holly, cashmere...these are a few if my favorite things! Speaking of holly - you should know that I actually OWN a holly tree! Or bush. Whatever. It's in my backyard! And I ventured out there in the freezing dark with scissors and CUT my own holly to decorate with around the house. Yep, I sure did. Then, since my holly tree/bush didn't have any berries (weird, right?) I went to ANOTHER spot in the yard and found red berries and cut those too! I totally ruined my wrapping scissors, but it was worth it. See, I am getting closer to nature!

And the shopping... another reason to I love this season. I've been done for a month but keep finding more! It's too fun to stop. I absolutely obsess over the gifts I give... I take forever to select each one, and then painstakingly wrap them as soon as I can so my tree looks even better. I have so much fun giving gifts, I honestly forget about receiving them! Well, almost.

I suppose I do get a little excited (ok, ecstatic) when I receive presents too. The husband has continually improved at this over the years. After 8 years together, he has really caught on to the whole "birthday month" concept. Conveniently enough, my birthday is also in December! So he is super lucky, because he gets to shower me with gifts all month long for that, and then comes Christmas! Ho ho ho, hsuband! And in January, we celebrate our anniversary. (And that definitely equals more gifts because trust me- I have earned them being married to Rusty the Dawg Fan.)

This year for my birthday, he really surprised me. I got... UGGS. I know! I thought the same thing when I opened them! Bless his little heart- I mentioned how cozy they looked a few months ago, he remembered and BOUGHT them for me! There is a reason it is 2012 and I am officially the only girl I know not to have a pair of Uggs. I'll tell you what it is: those things make your feet look like boats! And I am a tried and true size 6.5! My co worker actually told me I looked like "an extra in the Hobbit movie" when I tried them on. Direct quote. That sealed the deal. Not only was I associated with the Hobbit movie (gross), but an extra? Not even a real actress? Sheesh. So back went the uggs and in came... The Clarisonic! Best. Purchase. Ever. (Check it out here - it's available in a rainbow of colors and I do not lie that it should be under every Christmas tree, everywhere!) This thing seriously ranks right up there with the Prius. Life changing! I'm just a liiiiitle concerned that sometimes I hear its soothing hum when I'm not in the shower, and someone else is...

I'd also like to point out that 2 can play this game of gift giving. This year, I received an email at work one day entitled "Dear Santa." This single spaced page-long essay included links and many, many ideas from the husband's wish list. And when I say wish list, that is exactly what it was- that guy is dreaming! If he thinks I am getting him rails for the side of his truck? I don't even know what that means. So, I created my own list for him and bought stuff off there. Done and done! Just call me Erin the Elf.

May the rest of your December be merry and bright! There is still lots of time to give! (And plenty of time to receive....) I think everyone understand what it means to go Broke-o for Coco this month! Does too much shopping qualify as naughty, or nice?!

Love,

Erin the Elf (not to be confused with a Hobbit)

Puddle jumping with Coco

Hellooooo, fashionistas! I've been so busy losing at fantasy football and freezing my tooshy off at college football games... I have barely had time to write! All I can say is that it is really hard to look good AND stay warm. Which is why... I made the genius decision to buy Chanel rainboots! Here are the top 3 reasons I gave to the husband as to why these were a VII (very important investment):

(Mine are the grey sisters to these pretties. Fab, right?)

• 1: I waited until it was actually pouring rain to bring these out. This showed the true necessity! Never show your VII until it is ready for use or better yet, already worn. When we are walking out the door into a rainstorm, even the most evil of husbands cannot deny a girl some dry feet! Likewise, we are out somewhere fancy... "Oh what's that, you love this dress? Funny! I just got it especially for tonight! Glad you like it!" (Little white lies never hurt.)

• 2: I will have them forever. I know I have used this line before... But really! Rubber boots! He can these beauties ever fail me or go out of style? To simplify things for our one-side-of-the-brain (the cheap side) husband friend, I compare these to his work boots. I don't even want to know how much those hideous things cost, or while we're at it, what kind of small fortune "we" own in Carharrt gear. Need a cardboard colored raincoat? We have that. Oh, do you need a cardboard coat with fake shearling on the inside? Got that too, and don't confuse it with it's twin that is for rain only. Cardboard colored overalls? Check! What about cardboard colored pants with all sorts of weird pockets on the side? Oh don't worry! We have these in THREE colors.

• 3: These just may sell me on nature. Or something close. The husband has been begging off and on for years for me to "contribute" to the "outdoors" around our house. (As if I am sitting inside eating Bon bons when he mows the lawn. First, no one eats Bon bons anymore. Second, I would rather take the calories in wine. And third, do you ever wonder how your clean clothes end up in your drawers? That's right -Bon Bon girl.) I have (rightfully) refused to help in the yard, except for the ultra important process of picking out colors schemes for the potted plants and flower beds. I mean, this does set the "tone" for the whole floral design of the yard. If this isn't helping, I don't know what is! Anyway, these boots just might, MIGHT get me into the great outdoors a little bit more. This year, when all the leaves started changing and everyone was all hyped up on fall, I wasn't exactly on the same page with the whole apple picking, pumpkin patching frenzy. However, I WAS onboard with boots season. Rainboots, leather boots, you name 'em, I couldn't wait to bring 'em out! Boots mean fall. Faux fur means winter. Save the pumpkins and the eggnog, and treat yourself to something that will keep you warmer for longer than a latte! Style - lasts a lifetime. Pumpkin pie - not so much, people!

On this rainy day, I am on my way. Who ever said Coco can't rake the leaves? Well, let's not get too ahead of ourselves. I'll get on that as soon as Carharrt king makes me a plate of Bon bons..Instead, my feet will be cozy cute as I go shopping.

So, stay dry and warm, fashionistas! Bundle up and try not to go too broke-o on your next VII...

What about this is a fantasy.

Since we last talked, I enjoyed a fabulous long weekend in the paradise known as Newport Beach. Since I've been home, I've entered a whole different paradise - that oxymoron known as "Fantasy Football." Why, oh why, is it called that? Let's talk about it.

First off, the husband convinced me to join a "Couples League." He also convinced me to invite all my girlfriends. Since we (clearly) run the households and the lives of our significant others, this was already a strategic play. (Little did I know I was being taken advantage of early on in this so-called "game.") All the girls and their respective guys joined in and boom! We had a league. Thinking this would be  a fun way to "connect" with the husband every Sunday (and Thursday, and Monday and every other day this sport continues to pop up and interfere with life in general), I gleefully registered and named my team the "Downward Dawgs." In truth, I wanted them to be called "I'd Rather Be Keeping Up with the Kardashians," but that name was too long according to the (rude) rules of Yahoo Fantasy Football. Let's be honest though. Who would pick football over Kourtney K giving birth to Penelope? That's what I thought.

I absolutely despise this logo.
Especially because I feel like I can see it even in my sleep!

So, there we are, a few weeks later, and I'm drafting the Downward Dawgs for what I expect to be a successful season. Another wrong on my part. Super convenient that the WIFE of the COMMISSIONER is second to last to draft! Really? I get NO perks for being married to THIS? Long story short, I draft a VERY mediocre team. If that. I primarily picked based on a few factors: 1) player's names (do they sound cool? Last name is Best? Must have. Benjarvis for a first name? Can't beat that.) 2) player's looks (do they look good? literally - let's look at their head shots and see if they are worthy! who is cute and who is not? with the exception of Tom Brady; I refuse him based on the principle that he dumped Bridget. But everyone else is fair game!) 3) the advice of the husband. This turned out to be a little less consistent once I remembered he is IN the league and for the first time ever, he does not have MY best interests at heart! That's right - this guy is in it to win it and I am definitely one of his pawns! Picking Peyton Manning? Totally his advice. Did I know that Peyton Manning had not played professional football in a year? Noooooo. I thought that sweet man who put a ring on it actually wanted me to WIN! Silly, silly girl. They are right - love is blinding! 

Fast forward a couple more weeks. That all-star they call Peyton Manning has the worst game of his life. I wish he would have just stayed home. And THEN I found out he is a swinger! Really?! You play horribly AND you have gross habits? This has gone from bad to worse. In the meantime, my Sundays have been utterly stressful. My nails (I always do mani/pedis on Sunday nights) have completely gone by the wayside, I have  a stack of magazines waiting for me, in addition to Gossip Girl episodes on Netflix which are frankly not going to watch themselves. This is what people call fun? This crappy team that gives me headaches is called a "fantasy?" I think not. 

The only perk of this has been the trash talking with my girlfriends (their teams are equally fabulous with names like the "Wifebeaters" and "The Peanuts"), and gorging on delicious football food. I love being in what I call red-wine mode - cozying up on the couch, candles lit, wine in hand, guac and chips or my favorite Papa Murphy's take and bake pizza on the coffee table (it's the Thin Delite Mediterranean and you must try it - this pizza will change your life). Truly, those are yummy Sundays. What would make them better? Gossip Girl, for sure. But, if I want my team to be the "comeback kids" that I am assuring everyone they will be, I have a few (or a million) more Sundays to go. In the meantime, here is what I spend these lazy days in. My team may be the worst in the league, but I'm still hoping there is a best-dressed award...

• Zella Live-In Leggings: I own 3 pairs in 2 colors. Favorite leggings EVER. Reversible. Affordable. Do not pill. Do not stretch. Do not fade. You really can "live" in them! 
• Rubbish Chambray Shirt: Another "live-in" item. So comfortable, but still trendy. Roll the sleeves up or down, pair with a scarf or wear on it's own. Great with colored denim as well as leggings. Cozy up in this with a cami underneath for extra warmth. 
• Nordstrom Wool/Cashmere Scarf: For an extra piece, I never leave home without this. It comes in a million and seven colors, and wearing it casually for Sunday football is easy. Wrap it around and go! Learn different ways to tie it here. I have worn my black one with my chambray shirt, and then worn it a week later on Saturday night as a wrap to a wedding. Definitely multi purpose! Wear all-year-round in climates like Seattle.
• Vera Wang Flats: Want a little sparkle? These are the perfect flats. You can show off your pedicure AND be comfortable! I love these because they are like jewelry on your feet. No need to add additional accessories to your outfit. Wear your bling on the bottom and walk (or trot!) proudly.