Baby on Board. Literally.

Hello! We are back! Broke-O and baby took a vaca! We went ALL the way across the country… a little math equation I call 4 flights, 4 days, 4 generations! It was pretty amazing to introduce Gavin to my 95-year-old grandfather, who instantly nicknamed him “the little fighter.” Who still gives out nicknames at 95, much less original ones? My grandpa. You can learn a lot from a guy who enjoyed a martini a day for most of his lifetime.

Though I had to skip the martinis, the trip was still an educational opportunity for Broke-O the mommy. This was baby’s first plane ride, and we figured we would start with a bang! No need to test the waters with a short flight to California or something. No, we just took a quick jaunt to the east coast. Me, Gavin, and the heavier-than-hell Marc by Marc Jacobs diaper bag. I love that thing, but I nearly ripped the strap off by making it so heavy. Though I sought tips from my really smart mom friends and the fairly smart baby books/sites, I still had to learn a few things the hard way. Which is fine, because I’m going to do this again in a few weeks, and then I can act like the pro and boss the husband around. Here are a few pieces of advice (if you want them – I realize I’m speaking from minimal experience, so take it or leave it) on travelling with a cute little peanut:

see: time to pick up that kindle!

-probably don’t need to bring your back issues of Vogue. And Real Simple. If you haven’t had time to read them at home, you probably won’t have time on the plane with your new little friend. Because my travel companion WAS actually so well-behaved though, I did have time to read. Thus, I recommend the Kindle. Which is a lovely little invention that I left at home. Because I’m a bozo. The plane + baby definitely requires a one-handed apparatus. Have you ever tried to read a magazine with one hand? I know I have small hands, but it is pretty much impossible.

-also, you don’t need your super warm and cozy scarf. You may be used to travelling with scarves and I understand why; they make great pillows and I always believed help keep the nasty plane germs away from my face. I made a point to wear a scarf on the plane no matter what time of year I travelled. Not anymore, fashionistas! First, lugging around your travel buddy-baby AND that bag loaded with (what seemed like) rocks weighs easily… too much for me. So, you are basically a packhorse and then you have on this WOOL-CASHMERE scarf: no. Don’t do it. Then, remember you are carrying the baby who loves to smother himself in a front pack situation. His face plus drool plus your cashmere: no again.

-While you’re at it, just wear as few clothes as possible.  It. Is. So. Hot. On. Planes. Maybe you used to think they were cold. Again, not anymore. Lugging that baby around is a WORK.OUT. And then you confine yourself to the bite-size seat and squish your overflowing bag underneath the seat in front of you – economy plus is a joke for a mommy and baby! We needed economy plus plus. Or multiplied or something.

-when planning your plane wardrobe, whether with baby or not, I (along with everyone sensible) recommend you dress in layers. I hate travelling with a coat, but in winter it must be done. The rest of the year, I usually do a cami, short sleeve t shirt, grandpa cardigan, and boyfriend jeans or leggings. (I really like this sweater too; Leith has some great pieces right now.)

-definitely bring another adult! My bestie and mom was a fabulous and fashionable partner. (We made sure to have a little “episode” as she called it at Nordstrom a few weeks before.) Though most people are very friendly and accommodating with you and your babe, there are just a lot of moving parts. TSA is intense for a normal, competent person; do they have to SHOUT at you about the bag of liquids? It’s so stressful. And then you add in that angry lady in front who needs no less than 6 bins and has the audacity to give ME a dirty look when I leave my (adorable) monogramed necklace on! It was an honest mistake! Bin thief.

Travel safe and smart, fashionistas! Stay warm and watch for a post on winter-wear (especially COATS) coming soon!

Leave the Fendi's on - I'm not riding!

Last week, I traded my sky high heels for flats and my Prius with the built-in chauffeur (the husband) for a city bus with a much less attractive driver. This bus driver did not provide the door-to-door service from home to work and back that I have become accustomed to. In fact, our time together took so long, I could have gone door-to-door almost 3 times - and stayed in my gorgeous heels! (I got the fabulous numbers to your right on Designer clearance and I never want to take them off, especially for something so tragic as the bus. However, it is imperative they are protected so they can remain perfect forever, since i told the husband these are yet another "investment" of mine.) 

The first day, I mostly missed my cup holder and heated seat. Ok, I'll be honest - I even missed the soundtrack of life that seems to constantly accompany my wannabe-DJ husband, who either fist pumps to "Baby I like it!" or sings along to Disney's "Lilo and Stitch." Instead, my Sukey (by our friends at Gucci) bag (isn't she lovely? She would actually be great to commute with but you will soon learn that is not her future) and I were victims of uncontrollable temperatures and  atrocious prices ($3.50 - that's an absurd amount of money to pay for these conditions). The first attempt at Erin-tries-the-bus-2012 was also conveniently the day the President visited Seattle. I am seriously reconsidering my vote after the traffic induced by Mr. President this fateful Wednesday caused me to miss yoga.

The second day, things went from bad to worse. After 45 minutes at one stoplight and another 45 on one block, I seriously contemplated leaving the bus for a bar! As I looked out the window and wiped the tears from my eyes, my plan continued to formulate - maybe I could get off, buy a bottle of wine, and bring it back on? I always have a wine opener in my handbag. I consider it very Indiana Jones of me, and it has saved the day on numerous occasions. Back to this one: I was confident the bus would be in the exact same spot (probably for another hour at this rate) and other passengers would probably be grateful for this 911 errand. I should probably share with these fellow victims! How else do people survive this? I had a hair appointment to get to! The odd thing was that no one else even seemed concerned... As i was in major meltdown mode--freezing to death, envisioning the diseases spreading from the seat to me, clutching my oversized Gucci to my chest (setting it in the floor would have really ended me), trying to distract myself with Emma Stone's life story in Vogue (read it here - I love her) -- the dude next to me was checking out Sportscenter in his phone like we were relaxing on the beach in Cancun or something! Really?!

After the first hour and a half (and realization that I could not leave the bus to purchase an adult beverage), I started rationing my water. I also continued my irate (and maybe slightly profane) texts to the husband, since obviously any form of traffic or inconvenience in my life is 100% his fault. Thinking of him driving my sweet little Prius while I tortured myself on this slug of an automobile...it was just too much. I made a promise to myself that I would never do this again. Mission Erin-becomes-a-commuter-2012 was officially over. I gave it 2 tries and frankly, 2 tries too many! People (bus riders who say I should try again - apparently my health and wellness means nothing to them) later told me that this was the worse traffic they have seen in Seattle in years. I DO NOT CARE. I am confident it happened this way for a reason. And that reason is God does not want me to ride the bus.

So, see you on the road, bus! I'll have my Fendi's on my feet and the chauffeur will be sure to give you a fist pump as we whiz by.