27 dresses (or might as well be)

If you're looking for me this summer, there are 3 potential parties I have been at nearly every weekend since March - a shower, a bachelorette, or most often, a wedding. Between the husband and I, we have gotten our groove on at 7 bachelor/bachelorette parties, made paper plate bouquets at 5 bridal showers (that would be me- he is a mess when it comes to ribbons and bows, but he is surprisingly gifted at flower arrangements!), practiced our (very important) parts at 2 rehearsal dinners, and dressed to impress at 11 weddings. And you know what that means - 11 different dresses! I would never, ever repeat. This also means 11 different shirt/tie combinations for the husband, all of which must coordinate with my dress (obviously). All in all, being a wedding invitee has been my part time job this season, and my other part time job has been wardrobing the two of us! Luckily my real full time job is still around to fund all of the above.

Are you too a professional wedding guest? Does your refrigerator look a little scary like mine (see left!)? I'll give you some helpful hints- I spent a lot of time, but not a lot of money, at Nordstrom Rack (which is now online, PS!). I stocked up on dresses when our brand new Rack opened (conveniently RIGHT next to my Nordstrom office) in March, and successfully avoided those dreadful times when you run into someone wearing YOUR dress at the same party (the WORST). Here is where I conveniently bought the husband a new shirt hours before not one but two weddings. I also scoured other low-price/high fashion places like Forever, H and M (website now has new fall collection- go take a peek!) and TJ Maxx. I wasn't AS successful at these locations, but picked up a few solid pieces to get me through the wedding event whirlwind. 

Fashionistas, we must get creative! I made different combinations out of some oldies but goodies for showers and bachelorettes. I picked up accessories (like a gold clutch from H and M) that I literally used at every wedding. I used old(er) shoes that I knew I could dance the night away in. Ok, and I also bought some new shoes! (I always be grateful to Jenna for "making" me buy gold shoes for her wedding- best bride request ever!)

Last - this is where I reveal my true OCD - I planned. I made a little list at the beginning of the season with what dress matched up with what wedding. There was major coordination (and onset insanity) at this point, but my system worked and that's all that mattered!

Here a few recent dos and donts I acquired during my endless summer:

• do not ever, ever drive to a wedding alone. What did people DO before cell phones? Better question- what do people DO when cell phones have no service in foreign (and by foreign, I mean Hood Canal) locations? Three forms of directions later, fellow wedding guests found me in the side of the road, lost and in tears! Google maps and I are no longer friends.
• do learn how to curl hair. Do always bring a curling iron and straightener. Do realize that if you have a pixie cut, you are automatically the official hair-curler for every other head in the bridal party. During my dear friend's torrential downpour wedding, I recurled 6 heads probably 6 times. Note: rain wilts curls! But it will be OK if you bring a little pixie along to save the day.
• Bonus points- learn to do an up do! I took my friend's Rapunzel- length strawberry blonde hair and transformed it from a knotted hairspray nest to a loose, elegant updo - all in less than 15 minutes! I probably should have charged her but was feeling generous that day, you know, with the love in the air and all.
• do make sure the bride and groom have (proper) champagne. There is nothing worse than making a gorgeous bride drink Cooks on the best day of her life.
• dont forget to count your drinks!  One per hour is plenty! I don't think I need to go any further on this one. Or I just don't want to. ;)
• (please) do iron your significant other's ensemble. I have seen way too many wrinkled boys this summer to count. Boys - if you don't have significant other, invest in an iron!
• do follow proper wedding etiquette- RSVPs and gifts are not optional. And that's that.

Until next summer, that is...

Sweet, sweet season of weddings

Well fashionistas, we’re in the midst of sale season, which we all know keeps us busy enough, but now we are in the dead heat of my other favorite season – nope, you know me better than to think it would be something as trivial as “summer.” Wedding season is officially in full swing! I kicked it off on Saturday, when one of my nearest and dearest friends (you may remember her as the sparkly Vegas bachelorette) wed her high school sweetheart on the 4th of July. Fortunately for me, she chose a darling sunshine yellow dress, and the nicest-bride-ever let us pick our own shoes! Of course, I went with the sky-high Charles by Charles David camel colored heels with gold accents. Perfect for looks, not so perfect for my walk down the bumpy grass aisle… never mind that. (However, if in the market for something that will take you from 5'1 to 5'6, visit his website.)

However, most times we attend weddings, we are not part of the privy bridal party, and must get dressed on our own. Here is where I come to the rescue…

A few helpful hints to help you look almost as cute as these people from Martha Stewart Weddings magazine (see pic above - they are adorable):

1. Select your outfit sometime other than the DAY OF the wedding. Picking something out an hour before is an obvious recipe for disaster. I've been there, and ended up frantically buying duct tape at a gas station to hold my dress to my chest... try waking up with that situation in the morning!

2. While you’re behaving as a good fashionista, creating the perfect ensemble a few days prior to the big event, do your research! Most of the vital stats can be learned from the invitation – so make sure your husband/lover/roommate/mother/dog/whoever does not throw that precious piece of paper away! The time of the ceremony is a major hint; afternoon = more casual, after 5 = more dressy, probably cocktail-ish. The location of the reception is another giveaway; outside = more casual, downtown hotel or venue = more dressy. And, since you are a few days out, if you are super confused, you have time to call someone who would know the answer, but would probably be too VIP on the day of the wedding to talk to you.

3. Please dress your mate appropriately. Whoever is the “true” fashionista in the relationship (and I know there are many men who fill this important role), make sure your outfits coordinate. For example, when you go with the girl in the sunshine dress, you don’t wear a dark, dreary winter suit. (I am proud to report that this was not us! The husband showed up dressed to IMPRESS this time, and I have pictures to prove it! I just can't figure out how to get them off the camera.) You can take a cue from my best-dressed hubby; summer, outdoor wedding, accompanying a date in bright cotton dress… boy’s outfit translates to: cute khaki-ish pants (not straight, old fashioned khakis, but ones with a slight pattern or texture – I love any of the chino styles from j.crew), light-colored striped button-shirt, brown leather slip on shoes, and brown belt. Effortless.

4. Yes, wedding season can be stressful, chaotic, busy – like I said, it can overtake your summer, just like our treasured sales! However, under NO circumstances should you attend a wedding with overlapping guests in the EXACT. SAME. OUTFIT. That, my fashionistas, is a faux-pa we just cannot forgive. So make a note on the calendar, take a Polaroid, do what you must, but when you are celebrating this summer, you better be doing so in something different each time around. (With resources like your friend’s, sister’s, mom’s closets, Target, H and M, Forever 21… trust me, you can make it happen.)

And this, my fashionable friends, is how it's done. Instead of struggling with style, you will SAIL right through the beloved wedding season, making me proud along the way.

wine and the woes that come with it

I apologize for the lapse in posts! Now, the reason I haven’t written is quite simple. What did we just talk about?? Yes, sale season! I have been SWAMPED with that four letter word (s-a-l-e) and it has just tuckered me out. The last week of my life has looking something like this: work/shop-drink-sleep; work/shop-drink-sleep, over and over. Some nights, I have been so exhausted, I even skipped the drink! However, I was sure to make up for that (oh-so-important) part during my wine-tasting weekend…

Us Washingtonians are fortunate to live in a place filled with recreational opportunities – you can boat in the summer, ski in the winter, and drink wine… all year round I guess! (What’s stopping you? You can taste the vino in Woodinville, Yakima, Walla Walla, Portland… Well, that last one’s not in Washington, but you get the point.) We’ll get to that boating/water situation later, and I’m not even going to go INTO snow gear, because that is just ridiculous to drag yourself up a mountain, freeze to death, get your lips chapped, wear outfits that make you look like a puffed-up marshmallow, and claim you’re having fun. Everyone knows this fashionista hates the snow and all the fashion faux-pas that come with it, so moving on to the best of the best: wine-tasting!

First major obstacle to overcome – if you venture to the land of vino in the summertime, hello, heat wave! Also, the more you drink, the hotter you get! Therefore, the mission is this: dress to impress, while not being half-naked. Furthermore, let’s not forget the two words that were made very clear to me the first month of my marriage: no, not “unconditional love” or something silly like that. WINE STAINS. And our outfit must remember that as well.

It was a typical newlywed night in our house a few months back. The wine was flowing and the thank you notes were being written at warp speed by one of us, and with painstaking, heartfelt care by the other. (I’ll let you guess who was writing what.) It is sort of a blur now, as I have tried to forget the nightmare that nearly caused a divorce, (or could it have been an annulment? Probably!) but I will try and revisit tragedy for the sake of my loyal readers. Like I said, there was a little vino amidst the drone of thank yous, and suddenly, a chase broke out! We were running circles around the apartment, and the nimble Tinkerbell known as Erin gracefully leaped over her glass of wine sitting on the hardwood floor. Thinking fondly of my Shrek of a husband, I squealed in warning, “There’s wine! There’s wine!” Then, just as I suspected, Mr. Fee-fie-fo-fum came barreling behind me and PUNTED THE FULL GLASS OF RED WINE INTO THE CREAM COUCH. It instantly shattered and splattered everywhere. There was wine on the walls, wine on the floor, wine.on.the.brand.new.pure.ivory.couch. And then, there were sobs. It literally looked like a murder had taken place on my couch, and I was mourning the loss. And, the husband thought this was hilarious. But no, not I. Crumpled and crying, I moaned that we could never have nice things, and that soon we would be living in a cardboard box, and that such a stain could never be fixed. Weeks went by, and the tears kept coming, as we waited for our warranty technician to come save the day. He came, and he failed. Now, my couch was blue. Blood red, dark blue, grey, a big giant bruise is what it looked like – you would have never known this was once a camel-backed beautiful sofa. Despite my efforts to turn over the cushions, it was impossible. The couch was wrecked, and as I was convinced, so was the marriage. How could you possibly take care of each other if you could not even take care of a piece of furniture? So much for ever having a pet or a kid! We were too dysfunctional to even own a loveseat!

Then, one fateful night, the husband, tired of Tinkerbell’s tears, returned home with… a bin of Oxy-Clean. We lovingly bathed the couch in it, gladly withstood the stench of bleach, and waited with great anticipation to pull the cushion covers out of the washing machine. The results were: perfection. Oxy-Clean saved the couch, and our newlywed bliss! I instantly loved the couch, the apartment, and most importantly, the husband once again. But, my fashionistas, what did we learn from this experience? Numerous lessons. Don’t put wine on the floor, and if you do, don’t ever, EVER play a game of chase. Most valuable – should you stain not just your fave couch, but your favorite, most precious article of CLOTHING – Oxy-Clean can and will fix all!

Now, back to the wine tasting weekend. Fortunately, there was no need for the angel of Oxy yet. But there we were. The terrible two. Me, sweating in a strapless dress, wishing he would just let me buy him some new shorts. Him, sweating in the CORDUROY shorts and driving Miss Daisy all over Yakima. On our next trip, we will be better prepared, and I hope to see our svelte selves in one of the following suggestions:

For the femmes, I am CRAVING a maxi dress. (Truth be told, I do already have one, but it’s from last year and I just NEED another one, preferably printed.) Long, cool and breezy, these babies are the simple solutions to summer events. You could wear one for a number of W words… wine-tasting, weddings, water festivities (like as a swimsuit cover up, or for a day on the beach boardwalk, etc). I really love this one from J.Crew.

But, if you don’t love mustard as much as I do, or the 3-digit price point, this one from Forever21 is a steal of a deal!

For our man friends, what ever happened to the classic polo? This is what I’m talking about!

Then, for those stinking shorts I wish so badly he would let me buy, J.Crew has about ten thousand and seven options. I particularly like their “Club Shorts,” like these ones. Will the wine-glass-punter husband ever be the proud owner of such cute shorts? Stay tuned.