Broke-O in the kitchen

As you know, I have set myself some high goals while on maternity leave... One was to work on this blog, and the other was to work in the kitchen. Wait, that second one is a lie. I have never aspired to improve my cooking skills. And by skills I mean I have never learned to cook. For some reason, I just can't prioritize that arena of life or room in the house. In fact, Gavin was about a month old before I really ever took him in the kitchen. He seriously looked around like he was thinking, "What is this strange new place? And why is my mom in it?" When Carrie said she stored her sweaters in the oven on Sex and the City, I literally thought to myself, "That is a genius idea!" Unfortunately, I live with someone who actually uses the oven for its practical purposes, so my sweaters are banished to the bedroom closet. Actually, it is rather fortunate, because if it wasn't for that someone, I probably wouldn't eat! The only thing I make in the oven is cookies and cupcakes. I have prided myself on becoming a pretty good baker... cook - no, chef - absolutely not, but baker - I think you would agree that I can make a mean chocolate chip cookie. And any bozo can make funfetti cupcakes from the betty crocker box. However, my baking skills have evolved in the last decade. 

It was a mandatory phase in high school to bake for the boys - birthdays, football games, etc. As a cheerleader, we always had an athlete who we made treats for the game. Thinking back, I realize this was never reciprocated... definitely not a 2 way street with those guys! Anyways, cheering for 3 years helped improve my baking skills. Some team always needed something, or sometimes a decent baked good helped a mediocre class presentation as well. These tasty treats were normally created in a short time frame, squeezed in between a gazillion extracurricular activities. (I seriously don't understand how any of us made it through high school; I think we're busy now, but do you remember those days? How did we have the energy and why did we wake up at 5am to curl our hair? Ok, maybe that was just me...) Anyways, one time my bestie, E, and I decided to make cookies from a recipe we saw on Oprah. We were loyal Oprah fans. When I was in college, I achieved my lifelong dream of attending a taping of the Oprah Winfrey show with my mom. Unfortunately, the topic of the show was... debt. Of course I missed the day Tom Cruise jumped on the couch! Instead, we received a free book about... saving money. Greaaaat. It didn't matter though; it was still a monumental experience and though we learned nothing, we. were. on. oprah. Enough said. 

So, there we were, a few years prior, attempting these "healthy" (totally fell for it) banana chocolate chip cookies. We had just scooped them onto the cookie sheets and slid them into the oven when we remembered we forgot the baking soda. Or baking powder? See, I still don't understand what the big deal was! One of those two important ingredients with the word "baking" was left out, and we felt this was a significant problem. Thinking fast, we pulled the half-baked cookies out of the oven. They were definitely partially cooked, so there was no putting them back in the bowl to start over. As an alternative solution, we thought maybe we could sprinkle the baking whatever on top of each cookie. A few minutes later, we pulled out puddles of cookies that looked like they were covered in cocaine. We even went so far as to take toothpicks to try and swirl the white powder IN to the cookies... another fail. You can imagine that no team or class had treats the next day after this disaster. 

I assure you that my baking techniques are much improved! I do still however do a serious ingredient check before anything goes in the oven. And, I stay away from all other food groups. And, I thank the husband for his excellent skills in the kitchen. For some reason, we have been assigned to bring the mashed potatoes to Thanksgiving. This is a major step up, because we usually are told to bring rolls or wine. (Clearly, my family knows I can't be trusted.) So, with this major responsibility, I obviously started planning ahead and asked the husband if we should make the potatoes at home and transport them, make them there, etc. "So, we could peel and cut the potatoes and take them over and mash them up?" The (smarty pants) husband replied, "What about boiling them?" Oh. "I forgot that step." 

We'll see how well these turn out!

PS - You know I am a firm believer that presentation is key. Bad baker? Not a chef either? No problem! Look at these cute things you can distract yourself with in the kitchen: 

Apron from Anthropologie (see more here)

Polka Dot potholder set from Anthropologie (great gift idea!)

How hilarious would you be if you showed up to a
cookie exchange with this funny set of cosmetic
goodies from Philosophy? Available at Nordstrom.

I especially enjoy holiday serving platters;
these are from Crate & Barrel and I love the different sizes.

Deal alert! This darling set of 4 appetizer plates is just $9.96
at Target! Who cares what you put on them? They are too
cute to even notice what you're eating. Buy them here.

Wedding Season Wrap Up

This weekend we attended our 9th and final wedding of 2013. This was a light year for our wedding circuit. While it was the last of the season, it was the FIRST wedding of the year that I enjoyed not-pregnant! Yippee! While you know I consider myself a professional wedding guest and I love wedding season, this last one was just not the same... probably partially because I realized I have absolutely NO sober dance moves. Sad but true; I know. This became startling obvious at the first wedding we went to in February, which was particularly well-lit... that didn't help. I learned that wine-free Erin just needs a little help on the dance floor. I have never claimed to be a great dancer, but everyone knows that moves improve with some liquid courage. This is also extra unfortunate because the husband happens to be a great dancer. There, I said it. A little wild, but pretty good. So it was a long summer for him on the dance floor. Don't worry too much about him, though - it appears he found plenty of other dancing partners and wasn't too concerned with me and my (delicious!) diet coke on the sidelines.

See what I mean? Wild. The pretty blonde he's
dancing with is busy planning her wedding,
which will be THE event of 2014. 

So, as the weddings wrap up for this year (unless someone surprises us within the next 6 weeks or so!), I encourage you to do a few things in the off season to prepare for next. Whether you attend a dozen weddings a year or just one, remember what the boy scouts say: be prepared! 

• Shop in the off season: there is no better time to pick up a fabulous dress! Personally, I hate repeating dresses at weddings. Most of the weddings we attend recycle the same group of people (and I mean that in the nicest way - but last year we were practically living with our friends since we went to weddings with them every weekend), so I prefer to not always be "the girl in the ____ dress." I like to be the girl in the pink dress, the girl in the blue dress, the girl in the leopard dress - you see what i mean? I recommend looking for dresses that are wearable for all seasons, but try not go get anything too heavy, as most of the weddings are September-May. Go for silk or chiffon, and stay away from all wool (too hot) or all cotton (too casual). Scour the sales racks and then just leave the dress(es) in your closet (hanging nicely please - not rolled in a ball) until the spring. You will be SO relieved to save yourself a shopping trip then, and you won't see yourself coming and going at next year's soirees. Check out off-price retailers like Nordstrom Rack and TJ Maxx, since their product isn't always as seasonal. Don't like to dig for deals? You don't have to! Nordstrom Rack is now available online: happy shopping! I also suggest owning at least one LBD: my favorite of the moment (for price point and sweet style) is below and available here: 
  
• Send your gifts: as the etiquette police, I (politely) ask that you get this done! You technically have 1 year to send a wedding gift, and the couple technically has 1 year to write a thank you note. I prefer that both get done within the first 0-6 months. It is so easy to send a gift online now and usually obtain free shipping. Since we attend so many weddings (and I realized I was spending a fortune on wrapping paper), I have started sending gifts before the weddings from the online registries and try to check it off the list shortly after receiving the invitation. (The only problem is my pregnancy brain couldn't remember who I did and didn't send gifts too.... so if you have short term memory loss like me, be sure to this down somewhere... or something!)
• Find more reasons to celebrate: Now that wedding season is over, don't turn into a video-game-addicted, glued-to-the-tv-for-football, hermit! These sweet adjectives may apply more to our male readers.... But for the ladies, same goes for you! There are still plenty of occasions that call for get-togethers, and if not, let's make some! We recently had our friends over about a month into newlywed bliss and they filled our evening with laughter as we heard about their hilarious/disastrous honeymoon. Likewise, it is so fun to go (aka invite yourself) to the newlyweds home and enjoy fun night eating and drinking off all their new toys! Who doesn't love to be the first to use a monogrammed wineglass? That is a Saturday night win in my book! Seriously though, sometimes we have to remind ourselves to do this when there isn't an event booked on the calendar every month. Not a chef or professional entertainer? No problem! Take a page out of my (kitchen-challenged) book and get a Papa Murphy's pizza - cut into squares and put on a pretty platter. (All pizza is more fancy in squares. Plus there is something about take-n-bake that makes you appear slightly classier than delivery. After all, you do have to drive to get it AND operate the oven with some degree of intelligence.) Add a salad and a bottle of wine and everyone's happy. Read more about my adventures in cooking in the next post.... 

OK - now that you have read this, you have permission to go watch football. But invite someone over to watch with you, would ya? And do some online shopping from the couch. 

PS - Thank you so much to those who subscribed via email! I really appreciate you! The winner of the drawing is... Brandon Hemphill! He will be receiving a little something special in the mail. Keep reading for more potential contests or deals! Thanks again. 

Help a sister out

Hello, Fashionistas! I write you with a request. As many of you know, I am currently enjoying this strange, surreal vacation known as maternity leave. It is the first time I haven't worked since... well, before I started my babysitting empire at age 12. (Those were the days of a paper agenda and a home phone line and let me tell you - I booked New Years Eve a whole year in advance!) I guess that is where my over-achiever issues began... You could say I'm a bit of a busy bee, so blogging has been a good form of "work" for me during this time off. Of course, I couldn't just blog, but I had to set goals for myself too. I know - I have problems. 

Anyways, I wanted to share with you that one of my goals was to really get the blog up and running - like consistently. I love to write and to be honest, I feel like life just provides me with stories to be told! I want to keep sharing them with all of you, and hopefully doing so will also share some advice, fashionable information, mommyhood chaos, or at the very least, laughter. 

This is where you come in. I would love love love if you could "subscribe" to Broke-O by entering your email address in the top left corner. Then, without ever lifting another delicate, manicured finger, new blog entries will magically appear in your email inbox! It's like the fairyblogmother/stork will just drop a little present in there about once a week. How delightful! Next, I would also love love love if occasionally, if you feel so inclined, you could leave a comment on here. You know, say what you think, what you like, what you hate, whatever. If we are not already, it would be fun to be your friend on FB or Instagram too. You have probably figured out that I am trying to develop what the genius internet gurus call a "following," and I want to know you're a part of it! Seriously though, I appreciate each of you who take the time to read this. So much. And so, I want to work on taking it up a notch.

THANK YOU and much love.

xoxo

PS If you think this sounds too hard, just take a look at Gav. Be glad you're not wearing a girl sweater from yesteryear. See, things could be worse. 

PPS If that hilarious face is not incentive enough, everyone who email subscribes will be entered to win a gift card to one of my favorite places... I will "draw" for a winner next week! It could be you!

DIY... not so scary after all

Last week I had my first little DIY experiment and I am proud to say: I did it! While I consider myself creative and like a project here and there, I prefer a method known as BIY – Buy It Yourself. I feel like I can get a good idea but instead of crafting it, I usually find someone to do it for me. Fortunately, I have a wealth of helpful resources in that area; the husband has not only refinished but built furniture from scratch to match my hairbrained ideas (I usually provide him with very specific instructions, such as “I want it painted chocolate CHIP mint, not cucumber mint!”), my very talented friend has designed gorgeous Christmas cards, shower invitations and thank you notes (her Etsy shop is reopening next week here),  another is gifted at party prep and planning, and when I’m really desperate, I can find something pretty dang quick on Etsy. Or my other best friend comes in handy, Amazon Prime. So, DIY does not really have a place in my heart. Or home. However, Halloween reared it’s evil head, and I had no choice.

Of course, we already had Gavin’s Halloween costume planned. The husband, being the king of costumes, requested about 9 months ago that the baby be a bear for his first Halloween. (He has a weird obsession with bears right now that I don’t get or care to further investigate.) This was no problem, as one of Gavin’s older girlfriends had previously worn a bear costume, so we were set. (Here is a sweet non-Halloween edition if you just want something cute to keep baby warm with - love these things.)  Then comes the night of October 30^th.

“What are you going to wear?” asked the husband, accusingly, I might add. “What do you mean? Gavin is going to be a bear and I am going to be… me.” I actually (mistakenly) thought I would finally be off the hook for dressing up now that the husband has his own protégé – my dream come true! No more weird rainbow ballerina costumes for me! I was going to enjoy this Halloween costume-free. But no. He acted like I should have known all along I needed a costume too. For someone who has 21 tubs of dress-up clothes, it’s odd to me that this was never mentioned until the DAY BEFORE. I digress.

Anyways, if I HAD to dress up, at least maybe I could finally get my wish of dressing up 1) as something normal and 2) as a family. I have always wanted to be a cute couple dressing up, like Don and Betty Draper or something equally dapper. But no. I have had the pleasure of going to Halloween parties with the Chiquita Banana fruit-basket-on-her-head lady, a fairy, a rainbow DJ, and more. The closest I ever got to my cute couple costume was when we were the “Tequila Bandits” and that is a whole other blog post for a different trip down memory lane! (And that memory is a foggy one; the costume title alone can give you a hint.)

First, I thought we could be the 3 Bears. It took him about 2 seconds to shoot that idea down. Of course, it was way too NORMAL. Plus, I admit, I wasn’t thrilled with dressing up as a bear myself. Goldilocks was another option, but I really don’t have the hair for it. Terrified, I asked the husband what he might be dressing up as. “A bear hunter.” Um, excuse me? Your kid is a bear and so you are going to be a bear hunter? Great, you want CPS alerted on our first Halloween. No. His second costume choice (always gotta have a back up) was Timothy Treadwell. Typical. Another costume that no one will understand what/who he is. I explained that he would look like a blond guy with a black eye, which did not go with the bear theme. Had we planned this in advance, the aforementioned talent (or Etsy, or Amazon) could have helped produce something great for all of us. But time was not our friend.

So, inspired by none other than the famous Yogi Bear, I decided to be a honey pot and suggested the husband join us as the bee. If I was going to dress up, I was going to take charge! For the first time in 9 Halloweens together, I won. I practically ran a victory lap around the house! But it gets better. I could tell he didn’t have full confidence in this yet. Skepticism was oozing from the costume king. Especially when I called him at work to ask him if he thought it was a good idea to make my honeycomb hat out of the pasta strainer. (I had no time for the DIY ideas I frantically searched for online – sandwich boards and foam tubing? I don’t think so!) I had to act fast and make it legit. So, a quick trip to target and literally 10 minutes of crafting later, my strainer was transformed by a little gold wrapping paper and masking tape. I threw on my gold cardigan (with some gold necklaces of course) and turned a pencil into a honey wand/stick/thing. Boom! I was a honeypot and there was nothing he could do about it. When a stunned, “Wow, that actually worked,” came out of his mouth, I had made it. To be considered quality on Halloween by this man ranked right up there with my life’s crowning achievements! Truly, I usually don’t care how he feels about what I wear, but Halloween is his holiday, and I had finally risen to the occasion!

missing stripes + a martini = creepy bee

Then, there was him to worry about it. That bumble bee. While yellow painters tape on a black shirt was a good idea in theory, in practicality it was not. Unfortunately, the pencils did not serve his costume as well as mine, as his bee antennas were pitifully un-pointy. One beverage in and his stripes were peeling and his antennas were drooping. His DIY was kind of… a fail. But the husband was a good sport. I consider it payback for all the “joy” I have endured with him on Halloweens past. Moral of the story: when you need a DIY costume, be a honeypot, not a bumble bee. (And don't ever assume your Halloween can be costume-free... at least not in this house.)

PS Let me know if you need your own honey pot building instructions by commenting below and I'll give you the skinny!

PPS If you have better DIY costumes (and i'm sure you do) - share those too!