wine and the woes that come with it

I apologize for the lapse in posts! Now, the reason I haven’t written is quite simple. What did we just talk about?? Yes, sale season! I have been SWAMPED with that four letter word (s-a-l-e) and it has just tuckered me out. The last week of my life has looking something like this: work/shop-drink-sleep; work/shop-drink-sleep, over and over. Some nights, I have been so exhausted, I even skipped the drink! However, I was sure to make up for that (oh-so-important) part during my wine-tasting weekend…

Us Washingtonians are fortunate to live in a place filled with recreational opportunities – you can boat in the summer, ski in the winter, and drink wine… all year round I guess! (What’s stopping you? You can taste the vino in Woodinville, Yakima, Walla Walla, Portland… Well, that last one’s not in Washington, but you get the point.) We’ll get to that boating/water situation later, and I’m not even going to go INTO snow gear, because that is just ridiculous to drag yourself up a mountain, freeze to death, get your lips chapped, wear outfits that make you look like a puffed-up marshmallow, and claim you’re having fun. Everyone knows this fashionista hates the snow and all the fashion faux-pas that come with it, so moving on to the best of the best: wine-tasting!

First major obstacle to overcome – if you venture to the land of vino in the summertime, hello, heat wave! Also, the more you drink, the hotter you get! Therefore, the mission is this: dress to impress, while not being half-naked. Furthermore, let’s not forget the two words that were made very clear to me the first month of my marriage: no, not “unconditional love” or something silly like that. WINE STAINS. And our outfit must remember that as well.

It was a typical newlywed night in our house a few months back. The wine was flowing and the thank you notes were being written at warp speed by one of us, and with painstaking, heartfelt care by the other. (I’ll let you guess who was writing what.) It is sort of a blur now, as I have tried to forget the nightmare that nearly caused a divorce, (or could it have been an annulment? Probably!) but I will try and revisit tragedy for the sake of my loyal readers. Like I said, there was a little vino amidst the drone of thank yous, and suddenly, a chase broke out! We were running circles around the apartment, and the nimble Tinkerbell known as Erin gracefully leaped over her glass of wine sitting on the hardwood floor. Thinking fondly of my Shrek of a husband, I squealed in warning, “There’s wine! There’s wine!” Then, just as I suspected, Mr. Fee-fie-fo-fum came barreling behind me and PUNTED THE FULL GLASS OF RED WINE INTO THE CREAM COUCH. It instantly shattered and splattered everywhere. There was wine on the walls, wine on the floor, wine.on.the.brand.new.pure.ivory.couch. And then, there were sobs. It literally looked like a murder had taken place on my couch, and I was mourning the loss. And, the husband thought this was hilarious. But no, not I. Crumpled and crying, I moaned that we could never have nice things, and that soon we would be living in a cardboard box, and that such a stain could never be fixed. Weeks went by, and the tears kept coming, as we waited for our warranty technician to come save the day. He came, and he failed. Now, my couch was blue. Blood red, dark blue, grey, a big giant bruise is what it looked like – you would have never known this was once a camel-backed beautiful sofa. Despite my efforts to turn over the cushions, it was impossible. The couch was wrecked, and as I was convinced, so was the marriage. How could you possibly take care of each other if you could not even take care of a piece of furniture? So much for ever having a pet or a kid! We were too dysfunctional to even own a loveseat!

Then, one fateful night, the husband, tired of Tinkerbell’s tears, returned home with… a bin of Oxy-Clean. We lovingly bathed the couch in it, gladly withstood the stench of bleach, and waited with great anticipation to pull the cushion covers out of the washing machine. The results were: perfection. Oxy-Clean saved the couch, and our newlywed bliss! I instantly loved the couch, the apartment, and most importantly, the husband once again. But, my fashionistas, what did we learn from this experience? Numerous lessons. Don’t put wine on the floor, and if you do, don’t ever, EVER play a game of chase. Most valuable – should you stain not just your fave couch, but your favorite, most precious article of CLOTHING – Oxy-Clean can and will fix all!

Now, back to the wine tasting weekend. Fortunately, there was no need for the angel of Oxy yet. But there we were. The terrible two. Me, sweating in a strapless dress, wishing he would just let me buy him some new shorts. Him, sweating in the CORDUROY shorts and driving Miss Daisy all over Yakima. On our next trip, we will be better prepared, and I hope to see our svelte selves in one of the following suggestions:

For the femmes, I am CRAVING a maxi dress. (Truth be told, I do already have one, but it’s from last year and I just NEED another one, preferably printed.) Long, cool and breezy, these babies are the simple solutions to summer events. You could wear one for a number of W words… wine-tasting, weddings, water festivities (like as a swimsuit cover up, or for a day on the beach boardwalk, etc). I really love this one from J.Crew.

But, if you don’t love mustard as much as I do, or the 3-digit price point, this one from Forever21 is a steal of a deal!

For our man friends, what ever happened to the classic polo? This is what I’m talking about!

Then, for those stinking shorts I wish so badly he would let me buy, J.Crew has about ten thousand and seven options. I particularly like their “Club Shorts,” like these ones. Will the wine-glass-punter husband ever be the proud owner of such cute shorts? Stay tuned.

It’s Here. No, not Memorial Day! SALE SEASON.

That’s right, people. Read it and weep. This week marks the start of not just summer, but the real reason for the season: SALES. I’m proud to report that markdowns are juicy, the sizes are still aplenty, and yes, it is only the beginning, my fellow shopaholics!

For those who have never experienced summer as it relates to sales, welcome to my world. You don’t plan your vacations for the 4th of July or concert appearances. Nope, you plan everything around when Chanel is going 40% off (which is not yet – don’t worry, I’ll let you know). Why on earth would you go camping – that so-called form of fun involving tents that blow over, food that is burnt, and scratchy sleeping bags – when you could find the piece from Spring runway you have been eying since the fashion show more than six months ago? And, it’s at a discount and in your size? Camping, schmamping! Summer is all about fabulous bargains and the highlights that come along with finding them.

Now, let’s talk lineup. We really need to hit the ground running here. Just because there are lots of sales throughout the summer, that does not – BY ANY MEANS – suggest you wait until the last ones to shop. That would be an absolute amateur move. Don’t be disappointed in yourself if that was your plan though; that’s why I’m here to help. There is serious strategy to sale season. In all honesty, teaching you could be detrimental to my own shopping, because before I know it, you’re going to be snatching up all my favorite things. But, since the eeeeevil husband says I can’t buy anything this sale, that means I am more than willing to share the wealth with you.

That’s another thing – I thought everything was fine after the Chanel handbag PURCHASE OF A LIFETIME, but that was definitely just an act. Mr.-I-buy-$20-piece-of-crap-shoes-at-Big-5 has recently decided he would like to live in the lap of luxury and buy himself something nice. “Alright,” I think, “Good for him. He could use a nice new pair of shoes.” Oh no, by upping the ante in his pathetic excuse for spending, he means he plans to PURCHASE A GUN. The postage-stamp size closet in the slightly larger-than-a-postage-stamp apartment is now supposed to house the redneck-rifle-king’s gun collection and the princess’ prized possessions (my clothes – duh!) That closet was supposed to be for ME and it’s bad enough I already had to loan him a little space. Now what – my beautiful pieces have to be, God forbid, SQUISHED to accommodate a gun cabinet?

But back to sale strategy - first things first – get yourself to the Nordstrom Women’s and Children’s Half Yearly Sale – going on NOW. Every women’s department (including shoes) is offering something for this event, so it’s a sure go. For the kiddies, there is plenty too. This all includes primarily early spring arrival markdowns – pieces that are totally buy-now, wear-now. At least 1/3 of each department has been marked down to 30-40% off, so if you hurry, there will be lots to choose from.

In Designer land, the big call out is that Dolce and Gabbana was marked, plus some Marni, Stella McCartney, Zac Posen, Armani, Michael Kors, Marc Jacobs, RM, and more. And, it keeps getting better. Come May 27th, more markdowns will hit on selected Designer shoes, handbags, and apparel as well at Nordstrom.

So, on your mark, get set, go! But wait! Don’t spend the whole wad at once, girls. We still have the rest of the season, which includes the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale, Designer Finale, and other savings opportunities. Oh, sweet sweet summer. How happy am I to welcome you back!

BB-Question: what do i wear?

On Sunday I went to a barbecue. Simple, old-fashioned, American fun. Green grass, sunny day, good food. All of the above should be complemented by the perfect ensemble. However, I had NO IDEA WHAT TO WEAR. Scratch that – I did have an IDEA of what to wear, but I did not OWN that idea. This is where the tragedy arose. Consequently, it took this fashionista more than hour to get dressed! Even more tragic, by the time I did discover a decent outfit, I was sweating nearly all my makeup off, and could not even enjoy my hot coffee!

There was a main problem within this fashion crisis; I was invited by association. Meaning, as much as I love these people, and let’s be honest, I know they love me back, but - I know they love my husband more. But, nonetheless, they were nice enough to invite me to share in the fun. So, since all of the guests were expecting the husband to show up in his normal jeans/vans/v-neck outfit (newly accented by his post-wedding weight gain, I might add), I know they had low expectations for my outfit as well.

However, it is my belief that I must always dress to impress. Coco believed the same thing – she once said. “I don't understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little - if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, maybe that's the day she has a date with destiny. And it's best to be as pretty as possible for destiny.” And who knows – what if I met destiny at that dang BBQ? See? THIS is why it took me an hour to figure out a barbecuing outfit. Plus, I cannot help I was being distracted by the opinions of one faux-fashion-expert who was wearing a t-shirt with a cartoon bride and groom that read “GAME OVER.” Nice. This genius also believes that jean shorts are cool and that Carhartts are couture. HELP ME.

Eventually I decided on boyfriend jeans, a striped ¾ sleeve blouse, flats, and big sunglasses. While this worked, I was missing a few key elements that would have really worked better! Below is what I’m adding to my wish list – and you should too – to stock the closet for those upcoming summer backyard days...

PRINTED (and pretty!) TOPS, like this one by Elizabeth and James
i love mixing the femininity of piece (from Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen's line) with the roughness of the boyfriend jeans

or, (ok, AND, but don't wear it with the top above!), a FUN, FITTED CARDIGAN, like this one by Tracy Reese
this is DARLING and would be cute with the BF jeans, or any denim, but also over a dress as well (for those "fancy" barbecues!)

And, if you don't have them yet, BOYFRIEND JEANS, like these by Rich and Skinny
you MUST pick up a pair of these at some point - they are here to stay!

Wooed by Jason Wu

Today I had the opportunity to view samples from American designer Jason Wu’s Fall 2009 Ready-to-Wear (RTW) line. FAAAAAAABulous! I have not been able to stop thinking about the ostrich feather jacket:

At 5’5” (well, I’m actually 5’1”, but I like to keep that a secret, and my collection of 4 inch heels do the trick) I would look like a mini/midget ostrich in this baby, but nonetheless, I absolutely LOVE it. It comes in black as well, which is also quite chic.

Besides this show-stopper, Jason Wu’s collection was full of my most favorite category: dresses. There was embroidery, printed silk chiffon, silk faille, and the list goes on. I loved how he mixed in his knits as well; long, lightweight cardigans buttoned once and then belted looked darling layered over nearly every dress. While his knits for spring were a little too delicate (I loved the colors, but hated the snagging), this cashmere is just slightly thicker and in the easiest-to-wear shapes.

When our new President danced at the Inaugural ball, all eyes were on his lovely wife. More specifically, the world’s eyes were resting upon THAT. GORGEOUS. GOWN. At that moment, Jason Wu became a household name. At 26 years old, this guy has dressed the First Lady and developed a mini fashion empire. What will he do next? How will he top that feather coat? I don’t know! But in the meantime, as he continues to contribute to the world of fashion, I plan on contributing my paycheck (ok, maybe a few paychecks) to purchasing SOMEthing from this Fall collection!

To view the full collection from Jason Wu Fall RTW, click here:

Style.com- Review and Complete Collection

Jason Wu Studio

Broke-O for Coco

Considering this is my premiere blog post, it is with deep appreciation that I dedicate it to 1.) Coco Chanel and 2.) my latest and greatest investment: The Chanel Grand Shopping Tote. Luxurious black patent caviar leather, so shiny yet so supple and soft at the same time. The classic silver chain with perfectly shaped leather for the shoulder, to simultaneously maximize comfort and style. That treasured, cherished, honored CC logo… not tacky, but expertly blended enough to be noticeable, however (I like to think) not ostentatious. Does life get any better than the moment you are carrying this precious handbag over your shoulder? I think not.

My husband, however, begs to differ. When mentally preparing for this purchase, I half-heartedly asked him how much he thought would be appropriate to spend on a new handbag. (Keep in mind, I was shopping online, he was playing Wii, and neither of us really cared about his answer. A typical Saturday night in our home.) But when he responded $40, I nearly fell out of my chair! “Forty dollars?!?!” I shrieked. “If you ever buy me a bag for $40, I guarantee I’ll hate it!!” Mr. Generosity then upped his budget to $60. Since the conversation was clearly going down hill, I immediately burst into tears and put it to a stop.

Fast forward four days later: I come home from work, pleasantly surprised that he is not here. Perfect, I think. He is working late, and will have completely forgot that today was the day I had planned to make the BIG purchase. No such luck. Moments later, the phone rings. I hurry through the conversation, trying to keep track of what he is saying while frantically hiding my purchases. Suddenly: “How much did the bag cost?” I’ve been caught! The man who forgets nearly everything I tell him remembered about the day I was going broke-o for my Coco! I mumbled a response (I refuse to even tell you how many digits it consisted of), to which he replied, “Oh.” Not bad, I thought. Could have been better (dream response = “That’s amazing! I am so excited for you! And, since you have been working so hard, I want to buy you the matching wallet!”), but it could have been worse (nightmare response = “I want a divorce.”).

So, all’s well that ends well: I’m still married, AND I have a Grand Shopper! The only thing is, I just might not be able to afford food for the next month….